Disruption

It's been a crazy set of weeks since the initial demolition of the nasty bathroom. We're still showering at the Y everyday, which is great for our physiques, but the opposite of relaxing. Then the stove died and we had the unexpected task of buying a new one. It's like the kitchen got jealous of the bathroom remodel and is quietly trying to sneak in its own makeover. On top of the chaotic house, add a crazy busy time at work and some heavy stuff happening with the kids. It took me a while this weekend to realize that the reason I was feeling so out of sorts is that I have disruption fatigue. In the magazines they never show you how much time and energy is expended between the "before" and "after" pictures. It's been hard to find my equanimity in the face of all these changes even if they are growing pains that are leading to beautiful new things. What I find sustaining in all this is not so much the vision of completion, but the things that pin me to the present - walking outside with my cubs, helping with math and spelling homework, laughing at little boys' jokes, baking sweet potato pies, and snuggling in next to my warm love at the end of a long busy day.