Big Water

When I wake early feeling anxious on days when my life feels a bit beyond my capacity to manage, I think of this place on the edge of the big water and the big sky. The rocks are warm from the sun and the water is cold because it is too big for the weather to change too much. Gulls fly and freighters and sea kayaks glide past. I focus my mind on the smooth stones both gray and brown, shiny and dark when wet and pale and chalky when dry. There is nothing I know that is more peaceful than those stones.

This trip, I will remember:

• Charlie being scared by some large waves and talking about it over and over. ("I got scared by the waves!)
• Ellis and Charlie filling buckets with rocks and dumping them from high perches to make avalanches.
• Nate teaching Ellis to skim stones on the lake.
• Leaning back onto a large stone like a sun-warmed easy chair and staring out into the blue.
• Charlie saying "Bye big water!" when we had to go.