Homebody

Reflection on the first week after leaving my job: I didn't realize how desperate I was to have some time at home. All this week the things I have been most drawn to are the simple rhythms of home life: cleaning up, cooking food, weeding the garden, doing laundry.  In my voracious passion for housekeeping, I feel like a lover who's partner has returned from a long journey abroad. If Charlie didn't require more interesting activities than "watching Mom clean," I think I would be at it for hours and hours.

When I was working full time while parenting, I used to say, "You can have it all, you just can't have a clean house." Now I'm realizing the full impact of living a life where there was no tranquil home base because we could never quite keep up with the chores. I can see how much it contributed to the almost constant feeling of being frazzled.

I am not a neat freak anymore than I am a workaholic, so I have no illusions that I will continue to desire forsaking all other activities for projects around the house, but right now it feels so good to catch up and create a clean backdrop for what comes next.